Relationship Advice – 10 Ways to Put Sizzle Back in Your Relationship
Relationship Advice - 10 Ways to Put Sizzle Back in Your Relationship
It seems that no matter how much we love someone, and how deeply we are committed, keeping the sizzle alive in a relationship takes a little work. Here are ten ways you can help ignite the flame that was there when you first got together.
Don't take your relationship for granted. Everyone is guilty of this. Time passes, we assume our partner will always be with us. We have gotten used to the things they do for us that in the beginning seemed special. Every so often it is a good idea to remind yourself of the good things this person has
brought into your life. Appreciation for your partner strengthens the bond between you and a strong bond naturally leads to intimacy.
Spend time together doing something you both enjoy. This is always a good idea as it builds stronger bonds which promote intimacy. This may seem obvious but sometimes we get so busy, we forget to do the basic things that make a relationship strong. Along with this one comes communication. Communicating your feelings and desires to your partner is very important.
Set the mood. Dim the lights, light candles, have soft, seductive music playing in the background. Share a romantic dinner. Light a fire and curl up together. Flirt. Do different things to make the atmosphere conducive to romance.
Lingerie. New lingerie for him or her can add a little spice. Once a week, make the effort to look your best and put on something seductive. Your partner will appreciate the effort.
Full body massages. One week he gets a full body massage, the next week she does. You will look forward to that night.
Fantasies. Fantasizing is normal. If there is a fantasy that you have that involves your partner, tell him/her. Women generally have a harder time doing this then men do, but ladies, most men are excited by the idea that you fantasize about them.
Play games. You can turn any game into one that will lead to intimacy. Make a wager at the start of the game and each of you state what you want if you win. Nothing is out of bounds as long as the two of you agree.
Role Playing. Although you may feel a little silly at first, this can be quite exciting. Have him dress up like a fireman. Have her wear the French maid's outfit. Whatever you can think of.
Light Bondage. No I'm not talking about whips and chains, however, padded handcuffs, a blindfold, or simply tying your hands together with pantyhose can add a new dimension to your love life. Letting your partner have complete control, or you having complete control over them can be exciting.
Write a steamy story. Write a story with you and your partner as the main characters. Let your imagination go. Read your story to your partner.
Most things require some effort on your part to be successful. Often we sit back and wait for our partner to do the work, justifying it by thinking we've already done more than our fair share.. It is
important to remember that investing a little effort will often result in a big payoff which will make the both of you happy.
How to Put the Sizzle Back in Your Relationship with These Seven Goal Setting Tools
How to Put the Sizzle Back in Your Relationship with These Seven Goal Setting Tools
Goal Setting and Relationships?That is not as weird as it may sound. Consider the following definition of a goal: "A goal is a future incidence or event that is consciously worked towards." With this in mind, it is perfectly normal to make it your goal to improve your relationship, and these seven goal setting tools can help you.A great relationship is one of the finest things life can offer. When you choose your partner and start on a full-time relationship, you look forward to a future of love, support, encouragement, communication and intimacy. We enter into relationships for many different reasons and with many different expectations. Often, due to circumstances outside your control, a relationship can become a little tarnished.You recognize that all people are different and that even the most compatible couple will have individual needs that differ at times. Using just the seven goal setting tools discussed in this article takes a give and take approach. Partners in a relationship who adopt this give and take attitude often feel a sense of pride in modifying a need "downward" when they know it will satisfy and stabilize their partner and the relationship itself. Mutual giving flourishes in an atmosphere of cooperation.Seven Goal Setting ToolsListening: Communication is the key to a lasting relationship and listening is the key to communicating. Being a good listener takes more than being attentive to your partner when he or she talks with you. Good listening is a characteristic of a healthy relationship. Give your mate full attention when he or she is talking. Listening without interrupting the other shows respect and also builds trust. Sometimes the greatest gift you can give someone is just to listen - with your heart. So listening helps to improve relationship in great way.Small things: The small things are what constitute our existence. Once the excitement your partner brings to your world becomes familiar, it's the small things that thrill you both and that will keep you connected and turned-on for the long run. Do the small things you did when you first fell in love with your mate. Remember the small things you did to show your love to your mate? But as time went by, you probably began to get weighed down with simply living life and forgot the small things that made the difference in the beginning. Small things like a phone call in the middle of the day just to talk or say, "I love you", a handwritten appreciative note, flowers, gifts, and opening doors. Re-charge your relationship by consciously going back and doing the small things that you did when your love first began to grow.Give attention: When each person has decided to give of themselves to the other, you form a reciprocating relationship of love, concern, and devotion. Consider your mate's interests more important than your own. Give attention to your mate's interests. All healthy relationships require consistent, ongoing, conscious attention to survive and thrive. It is a simple fact that whenever we give attention to something, we are choosing to create more of it.Say 'thank you': One of the most useful phrases in improving your relationship is to say "thank you". These two magic words will make others feel closer to you and create loyal relationships. This attitude of appreciation nourishes the heart of both participants and assures that each person's needs are attended to. Things like saying "thank you", re-charge your relationship. You know to say "thank you" when someone gives you a gift or does something special for you. However, if you're seriously interested in improving your relationship, you need to let your mate know how much you appreciate things that are not special, the things that we just take for granted because people are supposed to do them anyway. Tell your partner what is right with them, what you appreciate, value and cherish. Thank them repeatedly and often. Appreciation makes your partner feel valued. It also builds trust and a feeling of acceptance. These powerful attributes act like a magnet to attract your partner to you.Personalized gifts: Personalized gifts are great not only for life's special occasions. Personalized gifts bring important moments to life and keep the memory alive forever. Express your feelings and show how much you care with personalized gifts. It shows your partner how much you value your relationship. Personalized gifts are always a winner because they are made exclusively for your beloved, with care and attention. Choose gifts that reflect your partner's interests. Evening wrapping your gift can be personalized. A little handwritten note expressing your gratitude can mean as much to your partner as the gift itself. Also be sure to give the gift in person. Personalized gift giving is a great way to spread goodwill and cheer amongst each other.Feel special: Sometimes your partner likes to get noticed once in a while. We like to feel appreciated for our actions, feelings and aspirations and want to be noticed and acknowledged. Become a person who notices these things in your partner and give a compliment often. It will make your partner feel special and know how that you care. The only way our partner knows what makes us feel special is if we speak up. The gestures that make us feel special are different for each one of us. Learning how to make each other feel special takes time and an awareness. Taking this journey of self-discovery together is one of the joys of a relationship. A key to a happy relationship is a commitment to learn. It is an attitude of curiosity, discovery, and delight in each other. Learn this essential relationship wisdom, and you will make each other feel special every day.Unconditional love: Love is the primary energy in the universe. Giving unconditional love will deliver the greatest joy possible. The term 'unconditional love' means to love without terms and conditions, which means giving of yourself. Unconditional love is accepting another for exactly who they are, not forcing the person to change to meet your expectations of how they should be. It is about giving the person the freedom to be exactly who they want to be by allowing, supporting and enabling them in every way you can. Unconditional Love is true neutrality; it does not judge or evaluate. It does not like or dislike. It does not blame, so it does not need to forgive. It does not have choices or preferences, opinions or positions. Unconditional Love does not dictate, is not authoritative. It has no expectations other than what is.Put the Sizzle backLearning how to establish and maintain a loving, supportive relationship is no different to setting any other goal. It takes information, planning, thought, skill, time, and most of all, attention. You learn your skills and styles from your parents, close friends and relatives. You watch them from the time you are little. They teach you both your roles in a relationship, and how to play them, through their example. This happens in every family and much of the teaching is unintentional and unconscious. You can learn to be assertive (not aggressive) and to collaborate with your partner. You can learn to listen with your mind and heart. You can learn to fight fair and resolve conflicts equitably and sanely. You can learn to value and acknowledge both yourself and your partner. You can learn to speak from your heart and be safe. You can learn to ask for what you need and want.Use these seven goal setting tools, and put the sizzle back in you relationship. This is just one of the areas that is covered in the eaziGOAL system.About the Author
Colin Dunbar's eaziGOAL is the ultimate goal setting program created especially for working moms and dads. "There is no reason we working moms and dads cannot reach our dream." Full details available at http://www.eaziGOAL.com FREE newsletter.
Passion Drought: Turning the Fizzle Back Into Sizzle In Your Relationship; Part 2
Passion Drought: Turning the Fizzle Back Into Sizzle In Your Relationship; Part 2
IntroductionThis is the second installment in a 2-part article series on creating more intimacy and passion in your relationship. Please click here to read Part 1 if you missed it. In Part 1, you learned about the developmental stages that gay couples go through in their relationships and how declining passion is a normal phenomenon and indication that your partnership is growing and maturing. You also had the opportunity to complete a self-assessment to uncover any blocks that could stand in the way of your having more passion in your relationship. Part 2 will now offer some practical tips and suggestions for enhancing intimacy in your relationship to bring more life and spice to what you and your partner already share.Intimacy-Building StrategiesAn important first-step in bringing more novelty and excitement into your relationship is to lay the foundation for intimacy. Gay men can often confuse sex with intimacy. While sex certainly is important and has its place in fostering connection with your partner, there is much more that goes into cementing a sense of closeness with each other. Sex is just part of the recipe for intimacy; there are deeper, core ingredients that must be present for a relationship to be maintained in the long-term. Intimacy is a process that develops over time. It's the ability to risk being vulnerable with your lover, to share yourself openly and to reciprocally meet each other's needs while respecting each other's differences. It's about making your relationship a private haven from the world for comfort and security, a place where you can be uninhibited and free to be yourself.Here are some tips for promoting more intimacy in your relationship and creating a foundation from which all your interactions and inner-feelings can grow.1. Create the Backdrop:Trust. Respect. Acceptance. Honesty. Friendship. These traits are crucial for relationship success; nothing else matters without these. The ability to feel passionate can only come from an atmosphere where the two partners feel a sense of safety with each other.2. Communication Is Key: Learn how to talk to each other "the right way", fine-tune your listening skills, appreciate the differences between the two of you and become adept at validating each other. Become pros at the art of negotiation and conflict management.3. Squash the Anger: Nothing contaminates a relationship faster than bitterness and resentment. Learn how to identify and express your needs and feelings directly and don't stuff anything. Create a tone in your relationship where you each can feel comfortable approaching each other and talk about your needs, wishes, opinions, dreams, and feelings.4. Be Fully Present: Make your relationship a priority and recognize the fact that effort is required to keep it growing and satisfying. Look at your relationship with conscious intent and be attentive to it and each other. Never take each other for granted.It cannot be emphasized enough that these characteristics are essential for allowing your partnership to progress in a positive direction. While the behavioral strategies for increasing passion to be discussed next can help to "keep the flame burning" between you and your lover, there is no substitute for the above-mentioned qualities. The passion-building tips will be superficial and meaningless unless you have the foundation set to incorporate them into your stable relationship.Passion-Building ActivitiesThe following is a list of possible ideas to "try on for size" in maximizing "the heat" in your relationship. Take these suggestions at face value and don't underestimate the fact that nothing is hotter than having a man in your life who loves you unconditionally for who you are and who is there for you physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Pick and choose the ones you like the best and make up your own. The only rule is to be creative and fun!