Parenting: The Road I Chose
Parenting: The Road I Chose
Tripping over the shoes and toys that seem to clutter my living room floor on a constant basis, just seems to be part of the game of parenting. I realize it doesn't have to be that way. I could spend my time picking up after the little hon-yocks, and screaming at them to do their chores, but it's more fun my way. (I never know where I'm going to land.)A night of walking over hot wheels and leggos has special meaning for me, and I doubt I will ever forget the night of the little tykes tractor story, but life does have a purpose - and for me that purpose is in the form of children. It's the loving, the kisses, the hugging, the owies, and all the problems and hassles of parenthood, as well as the joys of being a mother. Nothing else compares.I can't imagine life without my *treasures* or living without the fun of parenting teenagers, toddlers, and tweens, and yet somehow I can imagine that life without them, for someone who never had children is pretty much the same as mine - FULL and SATISFYING. My friends who don't have children seem to find ways to utilize the spirit of nurturing that God gave them, and it seems to give them pleasure in the same way.I meet people throughout life who have children who do not feel the need or desire to be fully involved parents and I wonder if they realize what they are missing. But, when I share the joys of parenting with them, they just don't understand. So, I suppose there are those among us who just don't get it, but for those, I'm sure God has a plan somewhere in his massive order of life to satisfy. I just really wonder what that plan could be.For me, the oatmeal kisses, band aide covered knees, broken trophies of my past, and scattered clutter are all made worth it by the years of love and honor that my children bestow up on me in the single moment when they proudly introduce me as mom.Copyright
Why Cardinal Ratzinger Chose the Name Pope Benedict XVI
Why Cardinal Ratzinger Chose the Name Pope Benedict XVI
Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger was elected to the papal throne on April 19, 2005, the second day of the conclave. He chose to be known henceforth as Pope Benedict XVI. The cardinal from Germany is the 265th pope in the Catholic Church history.But why the name Benedict? We have long been accustomed to having a pope named John, or Paul, or a combination thereof. In fact, quite many catholics today have known only one pope in their lifetime. Well, at least before the late Pope John Paul II passed away and Pope Benedict XVI came along. Some, though, who are much older have also known Pope John Paul I and Pope Paul VI. A few lucky ones can even remember as far back as Pope John XXIII, the smiling pope who initiated the Second Vatican Council in the early 1960's.Why Benedict? In his first general audience held in St. Peter's Square, the Pope explained that he chose the name Benedict XVI as a link to Benedict XV, the Italian pope who guided the Church during the turbulent era of the First World War. Pope Benedict XV tried many times, though unsuccessfuly, to negotiate peace among the warring nations. He organized significant humanitarian efforts to guarantee the well-being and freedom of people affected by the war.As the new Pope in a seemingly chaotic and confused age we live in today, Benedict XVI hopes that the Church may contribute significantly in attaining reconciliation and harmony between peoples of different creed, ideology, race and economic status.The name Benedict also brings to mind the extraordinary figure of the great reformer of Europe, St. Benedict. This remarkable man, through the Benedictine Order which he founded, exercised an enormous influence on the spread of Christianity throughout the European continent.Pope Benedict XVI is appealing to St. Benedict to help the present-day Church make Christ's teachings occupy central position in the hearts of all Christians. The Pope is well aware that to solve the enormous problems the Church is facing today, he would need the tenacity and gutsiness of Benedict XV and the charm and influence of St. Benedict.Nathaniel Quest frequently writes articles on different topics that hold significant importance on people's lives. Some of his websites include Opportunities.typepad.com and Shoes.marketphil.com. He can be reached at freeboi@gmail.com
Why We Chose The Person We Love
Why We Chose The Person We Love
"Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it." -- George Santayana"Why do I always wind up with the wrong person? I want someone who is kind, loving, reliable and open. Yet my relationships are always with men who are angry, hostile, emotionally unavailable and cannot keep a job.""I want a woman who is emotionally stable and independent, but I always wind up with women who are overly dramatic, tend to hysteria and depend on me to make their decisions."These are common problems brought to me by clients. They blame bad luck, coincidence or accident for winding up with the exact opposite of the type of person they say they prefer in a relationship.One very attractive female marketing manager in her mid thirties agonized - "If I went to a party and there were fifty men in the room - and 49 were college graduates who were business or professional men - and the 50th was a high-school dropout with a felony police record - number 50 and I would somehow find each other."We make our relationship choices based on life experiences accumulated from childhood. We subconsciously integrate these experiences and react from them to current situations.Children's psyches are like unwritten slates. The messages we receive from our parents are stored upon them as if etched in stone. We internalize these messages and accept them without question as we mature because in the child's mind, mommy and daddy - who are our ultimate authority figures - said it is so!When a little girl has a father who is physically present but emotionally absent and does not provide her with the love and nurturing she needs, she will grow up with a big empty space in her heart where that love should have been. The message - although unspoken - tells her that she is not important and not deserving of love.This little girl will subconsciously seek a man with her father's rejecting characteristics - so she can relive her initial relationship - and this time she will win.When a little boy grows up with a weak and dependent mother who increasingly leans on him in his father's absence, he is put in an adult situation inappropriate to his years. Although in manhood he states he resents female dependency, he is used to taking the role of rescuer and naturally will gravitate to women with emotional broken wings that need fixing.In our adult relationships, we seek to create situations in which we are comfortable - regardless of their dysfunctionality. If you grew up in a chaotic home, you will subconsciously tend to chaotic relationships. Our home environment, how we were raised, is what we consider normal.Our adult relationships follow a pattern. A simple exercise will reveal that pattern to you. Write the names of all of the people with whom you have had a significant relationship. Under each name, list all the negative characteristics you can remember - for instance: bad temper, continually late for dates, poor money manager, etc.After you have completed your list, review the character traits that are shared by your dating partners. Circle or yellow high-lite these recurring traits and you will see the emergence of a pattern.While discussing the concept of this article with a friend, she was motivated to make the list and was uncomfortable with the fact that these traits stood out among her three past serious relationships: aggressive personality, alcoholism, and emotional unavailability.I helped my friend work thru her feelings about this new realization as I did with my clients. Awareness of the pattern is the first step to changing it. Talking about it with a therapist or trusted friend is the next important step because you are then exposing this destructive pattern to the light and can carry this awareness with you when you begin your next relationship.Be assured - patterns are not etched in stone. They can be changed with awareness and work.About The AuthorTerri Arnold, MS (Spicy Grandma) has been a Psychotherapist for over twenty years. She invites you to visit her friendly, interactive and informative 50+ dating community at http://www.spicy-senior-singles.com.spicysrsingles@aol.com