Holy Mantrimony
Holy Mantrimony
In the last couple of weeks, the catholic war machine has been running on all cylinders to oppose the legitimacy of homosexual marriages. I would invite the pope to take a look behind him and see just where he was less than a year ago with the Church itself was mired in controversy. Apparently, the pope has no problem with sexual intercourse between a man and a boy, as long as he is at least a priest and can conduct his "affairs" discreetly. But when two people of consenting age decide to share their lives together in love and with commitment, it is a crime against GOD? And for them to forget about adoption because of what it might do to the child! The pope seems to be in such contact with his omnipotence that he is oblivious to the world around him.Children today already have 2 fathers: the one they look nothing like but takes care of them, and the one they go see every 2nd weekend. 1 out of 2 marriages in North America end in divorce and children who have 2 parents at home are walking into schools with guns.I for one am not homosexual, nor do I wish to see two man embracing each other on billboards, or on the street. That does not give me the right, however, to enforce my beliefs on anyone. Not as an individual and most assuredly not as an organisation. 2 same-sex individuals are of no threat to me. My values and my standards are my own and cannot be endangered by the love of 2 people. If we were to listen to the Pope, and take action that force homosexuals to stay in the closet, we are the ones inflicting pain to others. And let's be clear. We will not just be hurting homosexuals, but their friends and family and I will tell you why:Homosexuality is a fact. It is a not a state of mind but a state of being. Most of us know who they are. It is just obvious in a lot of cases, like the colour of skin. Homosexuals are coming out of the closet in greater numbers, leaving their wives and children behind to be who they are. We must open our society so that they can be "freed" before they are forced to assimilate into our "normal" lifestyle. They must be allowed to live. and love without fear of repercussion. And most importantly, they must be allowed to care for their loved ones as we do ours. They must be allowed to grieve at the loss of their loved ones like we do ours. A homosexual must be treated as an equal. I should not have to argue that fact. Women and fro-Americans have a long documented history of struggle, pain and finally triumph. Why must we force yet another "minority group" to suffer?About The AuthorGary Whittaker is the Editor of T.E.N Magazine. You can view more articles through their website http://www.tenwebzine.com, editor@tenwebzine.com
Power Struggle!
Power Struggle!
The greatest asset we have in human existence is our soul growth, but somehow we have that confused with becoming powerful. Power does not bring growth unless we understand the essence of sharing that power.The struggle for power is a main characteristic in basically all of our relationships. The main types of relationships I recognize and have categorized into three main groups for you are work relationships, family relationships, and emotional relationships.The way I can understand and relate to when it comes to our relationships is as follows, a relationship is basically the cooperation between any two people, on whatever level they are working on. Very simple, yet it's apparently very hard for most of us to deal with in our lives.In many instances as we can see, cooperation between those people involved in the relationship tends to exist as a power struggle, in terms of who will succeed in gaining control or domination over the other person in order to meet their own needs or requirements. In such a case, the dominant one is losing his or her growth and in effect, the victim is achieving the growth of both people involved in that relationship. What do I mean by that? Think about it! We do obtain a greater amount of grow in experiencing a bad situation.When you are the abuser, it is a likely case that in reality, you do not understand yourself what you are doing. Many of the people who have been a victim of abuse are carrying the burden of a situation or circumstance they grew up in, in terms of being abused. They might not have been granted any chance to learn how to understand, accept, and deal with this experience of being abused. In effect, they do not know any better, but at the same time they are going backward in their own life until they begin to understand the experience and their lesson fully. Unfortunately for those who are being or have been abused, this is a process of which they had to go through. In some instances it is part of Karma, but the lesson to be learnt here is how to handle the situation and get out of it without being hurt and having a deeper scar than that intended in the first place. In this case the abuser will gain much more in their understanding of the experience unless, of course, they choose not to learn their lesson. I would like to put this into perspective because in certain situations where the abuser has become accustomed to being abused and complaining about his/her situation, it is eventually taken for granted as being an easy way of bringing attention to themselves and to gain sympathy from others. However, that will eventually lead to becoming a pattern and a vicious circle. We can choose to either complain as much we like about our situation or we can do something to try to improve it. It is up to you to be the judge in your own situation. At the end of the day, we do have the power to do improve our lives and achieve our growth it is not up to anyone else to change that.Have we ever wondered why we feel the need to control our partner? If this is the case, why are we in the relationship in the first place? Are we trying to prove something to ourselves, in order to fill the gap of something that is lacking? Perhaps we need that extra confidence that we think we are achieving when we are in control of someone else's life, making him or her feel insecure as a result of that domination. I believe there are many possible reasons and many questions and their answers come from the need to look to our inner selves in the first place.In many relationships of our time and from what we can see with the people in our surroundings, we become able to evaluate the way they respond to conflicts or harsher situations in their lives. The initial response and what appears to be an 'easy escape' is that we always tend to shift the blame to the other person involved and claim we have nothing to do with the incident in the first place. We like to proclaim that he or she was manipulating our weakness or our self-confidence and used it as a weapon against us. This may be the case, but we do have responsibility for ourselves and should NOT allow for such treatment to take place.One thing I personally cannot understand is why we allow our emotions to overpower our rational mind when the people around us who really do care are constantly reminding us we should leave the situation that is bringing us pain and hurting, but we choose not to listen to anyone. Many people have told me "it is easier said than done!' I don't think so! When we are in any situation where we can see no apparent opportunity of growth in that relationship, but we choose to stay anyway even though we are being hurt in the process, well, there is no excuse! Sometimes we are afraid of leaving, this may well be the case, but we need to find out why we are afraid and what it is exactly we are afraid of. That might help!!!It is apparent to me that on most occasions our pride and ego are taking the best out of us in terms of accepting humility, which is essential sometimes and will enable us to put our life back in order when we see the truth from a different perspective. When we are able to drop the ego and pride, we do see the situation in a whole new light. There is nothing wrong in being humiliated from time to time and when necessary because that will build up our self-confidence to move forward in life with a new understanding and awareness in light of the situation.Another problem that I feel occurs frequently when dealing with relationships is that we always seem to have a hard time in letting go of the previous experience we passed through. The 'letting go' is an essential factor here and must be fulfilled in order to allow any new experience to take effect in our lives. In reality we will never go backwards in life unless we allow it to happen. The choice is in our own hand. Letting go is the most important factor of our growth and we must learn to master the art of 'letting go' to break ourselves free by accepting the experience as being just an experience for what it really is, and most importantly, without keeping any bitterness in our hearts which can take control in our next relationship.The only way we can move on and allow new opportunities for growth to come into our life is by investing in our next relationship instead of withdrawing due to us being afraid of getting hurt. That thought alone will bring the experience to you because you are asking for it in the first place. Whatever we project will become our own reality. It is about time that we stop and take a moment to look to our lives from a totally different and detached perspective, especially when we see things are still happening in the same way year after year. Haven't you asked yourself the question yet? Why am I stagnating in my life?You hold the answers to any question you have. Isn't it time to start looking in a different way when it comes to our relationships? If you think you are happy so far in your relationships, yet, you still find means to complain then you really are not happy. Try to introduce the word "change" as a part of your vocabulary! Trust me our only mystery in life is in learning to understand ourselves. We are tough when it comes to dealing with ourselves, but why? We try to create an image, in fact, in most cases, a fake image of how we would like people to see us for what we are on the outside but in reality we are dying from the inside. What is it that we are hoping to achieve from this? It seems the result is usually always at our own expense! Look at your life and try to bring yourself back down to earth to enable yourself to evaluate your life accordingly.On a final note, being in relationship with no depth of communication between the two souls involved is rather like not being in a relationship at all! I would like you to take a look around one day when you are in a restaurant. Observe the people around you, particularly those who are in as a couple. Of, course they are sharing the same table, but each individual might seem to be 'somewhere else' in their own thoughts and with no exchange of conversation except perhaps "how is your food dear?" Is that really a true relationship? Maybe in some peoples opinion, but I do not think so. The way we have been taught and how we have become used to evaluating our relationships in many cases is wrong and is an example that seems to mislead us into following inaccurate examples.Copyright
Tips for Building Love Relationships – 1
Tips for Building Love Relationships - 1
Nearly everyone claims to want a great relationship with their significant other. But what do they do? Same old thing over and over, and then wonder why it all went bad.There's no such thing as a free lunch. Everything has a cost, whether it's in dollars, time, trouble or work. And relationships are no different. A good, no, a great, relationship doesn't happen by accident.Too many people get all caught up in the dizzy craziness of early love and start to think it should always be like that - that weird magic and incredible obsession of the beginning of a relationship. Inevitably, people move beyond it and that's when it's critical to pay attention and start building the real thing.Has the passion started to ooze away? Intimacy and passion in relationships is not only important but also a vital part of keeping a relationship healthy. Couples need to enjoy being together in an intimate way. When there's trouble, maybe the last thing either person wants is to be sexual or passionate with each other, but this is a part of the healing and rebuilding of the relationship. It may be awkward in the beginning, but it is crucial.Do something to make your intimate time together special. Surprise your mate with a warm bubble bath, lighted candles, soft music, and a bottle of wine, or reserve a nice romantic evening at a local hotel with a wonderful candlelit dinner, fine wine, and a beautiful room.Since men sometimes have difficulty figuring out how to show their feelings, here's a few items that can make a woman feel good:
Tell her how beautiful she isCompliment her on her many skills (and be specific about this, it's important)Try leaving the toilet seat down (sounds silly but it drives some woman nuts)Tell her how much she means to youLet her know that she is your best friendBe affectionate with her in front of family and friendsLet her know that you think she's sexy
Despite that moronic movie, if you want to have a relationship with any staying power, you have to be able to say you're sorry. People fight, even lovers. But there are no winners. If you make a mistake by doing or saying something that is hurtful or damaging to the relationship, say that you are sorry. Right away.Many people struggle with these words, even when they know that what they did was wrong. It takes a strong (and smart) person to apologize. No waiting, say it immediately, and with sincerity. When couples argue, that long period of silence actually makes the anger and tension worse. You need to let your mate know immediately that you made a mistake and ask for forgiveness.You don't need to drive yourself crazy with this, but pay attention to how your relationship is going. Open your eyes and take stock of what is and is not working. Are there definite things missing or definite problem areas that need to be worked on? Think about it. If you invest in the stock market, you pay attention to what is going on so you can make changes if needed. Your relationship is far more than the stock market but requires some of the same strategies.Being aware can help you stop problems early and find new ways to make your relationship better. We tend to stop seeing things when they become routine. We build habits because they make our life easier and simpler - or so it seems. But when it comes to relationship, intimacy and passion, those routines and habits will kill them dead in time. Surprise, imagination, novelty, doing something unexpected and different will all help keep a relationship fresh.Sten has had a lifelong interest in learning about and building strong relationships. He got tired of dating and doing the same foolish things over and over and enjoys writing about what he's learned about love, intimacy and successful relationships. Visit http://www.AboutDatingOnline.com for dating and relationships, articles and a guide to online dating.